Comments on: A “Wicked” Confession, or: a reminder that I’m far from perfect http://penelopeloveslists.com/organize/a-wicked-confession-or-a-reminder-that-im-far-from-perfect/ Inspiration for the Unapologetically Organized Soul Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:38:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Sasha http://penelopeloveslists.com/organize/a-wicked-confession-or-a-reminder-that-im-far-from-perfect/comment-page-1/#comment-372 Sasha Mon, 15 Feb 2010 06:19:56 +0000 http://penelopeloveslists.com/?p=388#comment-372 What a great post, as someone who over worries, it's a relief to know that others are going through the same thing. If you're aware of what you're doing, you can always manage the problem, right? What a great post, as someone who over worries, it’s a relief to know that others are going through the same thing. If you’re aware of what you’re doing, you can always manage the problem, right?

]]> By: frauheuberg http://penelopeloveslists.com/organize/a-wicked-confession-or-a-reminder-that-im-far-from-perfect/comment-page-1/#comment-349 frauheuberg Fri, 12 Feb 2010 15:09:03 +0000 http://penelopeloveslists.com/?p=388#comment-349 thanks for sharing this with us, too...yes this is from the life out...so good to read it...and it brings me to consider about situations in my life that were very similar...but we are human being...just that...and sometimes not perfect and we must allow to be ourselves...with all parts...so difficult, but so worth...thanks...and a lovley weekend...cheers...ines.... thanks for sharing this with us, too…yes this is from the life out…so good to read it…and it brings me to consider about situations in my life that were very similar…but we are human being…just that…and sometimes not perfect and we must allow to be ourselves…with all parts…so difficult, but so worth…thanks…and a lovley weekend…cheers…ines….

]]> By: Jessica http://penelopeloveslists.com/organize/a-wicked-confession-or-a-reminder-that-im-far-from-perfect/comment-page-1/#comment-145 Jessica Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:13:55 +0000 http://penelopeloveslists.com/?p=388#comment-145 Yuck--there's nothing quite like bullying yourself long after the mistake should be forgotten. I learned a great technique for this from Michael Neill. I make appointments for that voice to have its way with me. So, for instance, I said something a little silly at the grocery store the other day and felt *really* guilty about it when I realized that someone might have misunderstood what I meant (I was apologizing for *me* being slow--but what if the checker thought I was apologizing for *her* being slow?!) and spent the next half hour telling myself that I am a horrible, careless, unthinking person. So, as soon as I realized that it was my inner bully (instead of just that voice reminding me to be more careful next time), I told the bully that I would be happy to make time for it, but that we needed an official appointment. Then, Bully and I get together at the pre-appointed time (with a definite end time, too). This helps me in two ways--one, it lets me just gently remind myself that *now* is not the time for bullying/worrying/whatever else I might be letting myself get caught up in; and, more importantly for my Inner Perfectionist, it helps me know for sure that I am not going to fall down a slippery slope of bad behavior. Because, I'm going to listen to my inner bully, just not non-stop, so clearly I am still responsible and careful. For me this works any time I notice my thoughts are turning unkind and semi-obsessive, and having that time when I get to feel really, horribly guilty for all my screw ups that week... Actually makes me feel better later, though that may sound a little weird. I'm so glad that you're all going to get to enjoy Wicked, and hope that you've been able to let yourself off the hook by now! And thank you for posting this--it was really encouraging to get to read everyone's comments about how we handle the mistakes we make. Yuck–there’s nothing quite like bullying yourself long after the mistake should be forgotten. I learned a great technique for this from Michael Neill. I make appointments for that voice to have its way with me. So, for instance, I said something a little silly at the grocery store the other day and felt *really* guilty about it when I realized that someone might have misunderstood what I meant (I was apologizing for *me* being slow–but what if the checker thought I was apologizing for *her* being slow?!) and spent the next half hour telling myself that I am a horrible, careless, unthinking person. So, as soon as I realized that it was my inner bully (instead of just that voice reminding me to be more careful next time), I told the bully that I would be happy to make time for it, but that we needed an official appointment. Then, Bully and I get together at the pre-appointed time (with a definite end time, too).

This helps me in two ways–one, it lets me just gently remind myself that *now* is not the time for bullying/worrying/whatever else I might be letting myself get caught up in; and, more importantly for my Inner Perfectionist, it helps me know for sure that I am not going to fall down a slippery slope of bad behavior. Because, I’m going to listen to my inner bully, just not non-stop, so clearly I am still responsible and careful.

For me this works any time I notice my thoughts are turning unkind and semi-obsessive, and having that time when I get to feel really, horribly guilty for all my screw ups that week… Actually makes me feel better later, though that may sound a little weird.

I’m so glad that you’re all going to get to enjoy Wicked, and hope that you’ve been able to let yourself off the hook by now! And thank you for posting this–it was really encouraging to get to read everyone’s comments about how we handle the mistakes we make.

]]> By: Meredith http://penelopeloveslists.com/organize/a-wicked-confession-or-a-reminder-that-im-far-from-perfect/comment-page-1/#comment-130 Meredith Tue, 12 Jan 2010 16:30:24 +0000 http://penelopeloveslists.com/?p=388#comment-130 Thanks, Susan, I love this part of your comment: "Chin up, my dear! Allow yourself a little tossing and crushing from time to time. It’s humbling, patience growing, and just darn right good for you. Good for all of us." So incredibly true! Thanks, Susan, I love this part of your comment:

“Chin up, my dear! Allow yourself a little tossing and crushing from time to time. It’s humbling, patience growing, and just darn right good for you. Good for all of us.”

So incredibly true!

]]> By: Susan http://penelopeloveslists.com/organize/a-wicked-confession-or-a-reminder-that-im-far-from-perfect/comment-page-1/#comment-126 Susan Mon, 11 Jan 2010 16:31:51 +0000 http://penelopeloveslists.com/?p=388#comment-126 What??? YOU don't have a FAMILY calendar where everybody is responsible for writing out their own uber important (as well as just regular old important) events??? I'm just kidding, of course. But to think that an idea as simple as that would have totally (if used properly by all family members) eliminated this problem. Which, of course, is what you are continually jabbing yourself in the side for. How could I have forgotten this??? How, in all of my super focused trying was I able to fail at this simple choosing of the appropriate date for a show??? The thing that I both love and hate about life is that we can't go back in time and fix any mistakes we've made in the past. I hate this for obvious reasons, but I love it for less obvious reasons. I can't tell you how many times I've made a mistake that has ultimately ended up making me a better person. A diamond can't be formed without a ton of crushing pressure. A beautiful smooth stone can't ever roll up onto the bank or beach if it hasn't been tossed over and over and over again. A pearl has to hide in so much darkness before it can show it's pretty face. If we hope to see a rainbow, ultimately a storm has to pass by first. I think you can see where I'm going with this. Chin up, my dear! Allow yourself a little tossing and crushing from time to time. It's humbling, patience growing, and just darn right good for you. Good for all of us. Love, Susan What??? YOU don’t have a FAMILY calendar where everybody is responsible for writing out their own uber important (as well as just regular old important) events???

I’m just kidding, of course. But to think that an idea as simple as that would have totally (if used properly by all family members) eliminated this problem. Which, of course, is what you are continually jabbing yourself in the side for. How could I have forgotten this??? How, in all of my super focused trying was I able to fail at this simple choosing of the appropriate date for a show???

The thing that I both love and hate about life is that we can’t go back in time and fix any mistakes we’ve made in the past. I hate this for obvious reasons, but I love it for less obvious reasons. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made a mistake that has ultimately ended up making me a better person.

A diamond can’t be formed without a ton of crushing pressure. A beautiful smooth stone can’t ever roll up onto the bank or beach if it hasn’t been tossed over and over and over again. A pearl has to hide in so much darkness before it can show it’s pretty face. If we hope to see a rainbow, ultimately a storm has to pass by first.

I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Chin up, my dear! Allow yourself a little tossing and crushing from time to time. It’s humbling, patience growing, and just darn right good for you. Good for all of us.

Love, Susan

]]> By: jec http://penelopeloveslists.com/organize/a-wicked-confession-or-a-reminder-that-im-far-from-perfect/comment-page-1/#comment-123 jec Mon, 11 Jan 2010 04:34:35 +0000 http://penelopeloveslists.com/?p=388#comment-123 The fact that your daughter took this in stride means you are doing an amazing job as a parent. It's actually good for kids to know that their parents can make mistakes--because no one can live up to perfection. Forgive yourself. In 20 years this will be a funny family story. Age brings perspective. The fact that your daughter took this in stride means you are doing an amazing job as a parent. It’s actually good for kids to know that their parents can make mistakes–because no one can live up to perfection. Forgive yourself. In 20 years this will be a funny family story. Age brings perspective.

]]> By: Kristin http://penelopeloveslists.com/organize/a-wicked-confession-or-a-reminder-that-im-far-from-perfect/comment-page-1/#comment-117 Kristin Sun, 10 Jan 2010 07:11:41 +0000 http://penelopeloveslists.com/?p=388#comment-117 It just means you're a good mama! It just means you’re a good mama!

]]> By: Melissa Monday http://penelopeloveslists.com/organize/a-wicked-confession-or-a-reminder-that-im-far-from-perfect/comment-page-1/#comment-114 Melissa Monday Sat, 09 Jan 2010 22:02:51 +0000 http://penelopeloveslists.com/?p=388#comment-114 As I read some posts, I landed on what Sharon said above about being married to a Penelope and when he makes a mistake, she actually feels closer to him. As I pondered this thought, I thought about how I (a Penelope) feesl about being married to a Penelope. When he makes a mistake, I feel the same as Sharon...like I've connected with the human side. Then, I think that he (and others) probably feel the same about me. No one wants to be around Little Miss Perfect all the time, I know I don't. I want to be around people who are realistic about themselves (not that we Penelopes aren't!) and who don't have to be perfect to be happy with who they are. When I make a mistake, I'm going to try to remember that how I handle it (like a stressed out Penelope or like a human) will affect my closeness with those around me. As I read some posts, I landed on what Sharon said above about being married to a Penelope and when he makes a mistake, she actually feels closer to him. As I pondered this thought, I thought about how I (a Penelope) feesl about being married to a Penelope. When he makes a mistake, I feel the same as Sharon…like I’ve connected with the human side.

Then, I think that he (and others) probably feel the same about me. No one wants to be around Little Miss Perfect all the time, I know I don’t. I want to be around people who are realistic about themselves (not that we Penelopes aren’t!) and who don’t have to be perfect to be happy with who they are. When I make a mistake, I’m going to try to remember that how I handle it (like a stressed out Penelope or like a human) will affect my closeness with those around me.

]]> By: Kristi @ Life at the Chateau Whitman http://penelopeloveslists.com/organize/a-wicked-confession-or-a-reminder-that-im-far-from-perfect/comment-page-1/#comment-113 Kristi @ Life at the Chateau Whitman Sat, 09 Jan 2010 15:55:40 +0000 http://penelopeloveslists.com/?p=388#comment-113 Aww, please don't beat yourself up about it. Think of how you react to mistakes that others make. You no doubt let it go because you know people aren't perfect, right? Everyone makes mistakes, and that is the gracious way to handle it. Why not treat yourself as nicely as you would treat others? Besides, mistakes are what allow us to constantly improve. Without mistakes, things would be boring. :) Aww, please don’t beat yourself up about it. Think of how you react to mistakes that others make. You no doubt let it go because you know people aren’t perfect, right? Everyone makes mistakes, and that is the gracious way to handle it. Why not treat yourself as nicely as you would treat others?

Besides, mistakes are what allow us to constantly improve. Without mistakes, things would be boring. :)

]]> By: Marci@OvercomingBusy http://penelopeloveslists.com/organize/a-wicked-confession-or-a-reminder-that-im-far-from-perfect/comment-page-1/#comment-112 Marci@OvercomingBusy Sat, 09 Jan 2010 15:55:15 +0000 http://penelopeloveslists.com/?p=388#comment-112 Ahhh...perfectionism rears its ugly head again! We are programmed by media and society that we have to be these perfect little beings. Here is the good news....its all a bunch of lies and fables meant to sell stuff and false ideas! Don't get caught up perfectionism. Get caught up in what's really important...your husband, your children, your family, your friends. You are not perfect. No one cares, but you :) Ahhh…perfectionism rears its ugly head again! We are programmed by media and society that we have to be these perfect little beings. Here is the good news….its all a bunch of lies and fables meant to sell stuff and false ideas! Don’t get caught up perfectionism. Get caught up in what’s really important…your husband, your children, your family, your friends. You are not perfect. No one cares, but you :)

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