Penelope Loves Lists » Family Life

Finally ready to officially take a break (plus a few photos)

Meredith — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 16:04:37 +0000

Hi Penelopes,

I’m so sorry for yet another round of radio silence here at Penelope Loves Lists. The truth is, I’ve just been so conflicted as to how to handle this period of my blogging life.

As you know, I’m getting ready to have our baby in early August (I’m at 37 weeks -almost there!). The preparation for the little guy (and, even more so, for being away from work to be with him) has simply taken all energy out of me. And so, I’ve wanted to just post that I’m taking a long term break.

And yet, I didn’t want to take away my option to post if all of a sudden I had a bolt of energy and inspiration simultaneously. And I felt guilty for not posting. And I felt guilty for pushing myself to do more than I should.

And back and forth I’ve gone, all the while simply not posting anything.

Man, I am so tired of myself.

So, I’m finally making a decision and putting the blog on official hiatus for a while. I’m not sure how long that will be. I may post in a week, or it may be a whole lot longer. I just don’t know. I hope very much to be back for real in the next few months, but I’m giving myself the option to just see how it goes. Which is very, VERY difficult for me. I’m so not good with “go with the flow.”

I’m thinking this may be my season to learn to do just that. And that’s a humbling lesson to learn, isn’t it?

I deeply love this website and all of you and I miss our interaction, so I look forward to the time when life enables me to be back in full Penelope action.

Until then, and because so many of you have been sweet enough to ask to see some photos of my pregnant self, I’ll leave you with a few pictures from our recent family and maternity photo session with the fantastic photographer Lisa Farrer. Seriously, if you’re in the SF Bay Area, Lisa’s the person to see for family photos, belly shots, baby portraits or wedding photography. Super, super talented photographer and really sweet person. She made my entire, photo-phobic family feel extremely comfortable.

Our spectacularly blended family

Me and my very patient husband

The cliched heart-on-belly shot. Just had to do it.

29 weeks pregnant

Our Boston Terrier, Cooper.

Have a wonderful summer and fall, Penelopes. I’ll see you soon.

Genius Idea for the new mom: Sticky Bellies

Meredith — Mon, 23 May 2011 01:50:19 +0000

True confession time: I’m not so great at taking photos. In fact, I suck. Horribly. There are entire years of my childrens’ lives that have gone mostly unphotographed. I know. It’s truly terrible.

It’s like I was born without the proper photo-taking gene. I believe my sister got every last ounce of that gene in our family, unfairly leaving me with zero. (Which is odd, because I’m older, but who am I to question the way these things work?)

But, I do very much want to document the first year of my son’s life by taking a photo of him every month in roughly the same place and position. We’ve all been inspired by Nicole at Making It Lovely, right? She’s done this for both her kids and it’s a wonderful way to watch them grow.

Today, I found this product, which I think will make the project easier for me. It’s called Sticky Bellies. It’s a pack of 12 stickers that you can stick on the front of your baby’s onesie or shirt each month. They’re adorable. They’re designed to look sewn on, for that handmade vibe we’re going for with these photos. They make it easy to tell how old baby is in each photo.

And, at just $15 for the pack, they are a great shower gift for any new mom.

I hope Sticky Bellies makes a million dollars on this product, because it’s such a genius idea.

The Perfect Backbend: or, why I want to be a parent again

Meredith — Fri, 06 May 2011 16:41:40 +0000

As I’ve mentioned, my husband and I have three children in our blended family, which has been in the blender for 12 years now: he has 2 boys, aged 12 and 21, whom I consider my own sons, and I have a 16 year old daughter.

When we decided to have another baby, a question I got a lot was “But, why? You’re 37, you’re in a great, busy place in your career and your kids are grown out of that “needy” phase. You’re almost there! Why do it again?”

I’ll tell you why.

Because, these things happen.

The other night, my 16 year old daughter came to me with a problem. She’s in the “tumbling” segment of her high school gym class and they will be graded on being able to do the perfect backbend.

You know what I mean. This one:

My daughter hasn’t ever been interested in gymnastics (a somersault was as far as we got when she was little), so she’s never learned to do a backbend. And the fact that she was struggling with it was really bothering her. She is going to be TESTED on this. And she’s a true Penelope. If she’s going to get a grade, it’d better be a good one.

Before I go on, a bit of background on my daughter. The thing is, she rarely needs my help. Since she was young (like, 5) she has been able to figure out and execute nearly perfectly anything she puts her mind to. School comes easy to her. I mean, she works very, very long and hard, but the actual organization and doing of the work is fairly natural to her.

Unlike with my sons (who are smart, hardworking boys, to be sure) she’s never needed my help. The boys needed me to teach them to keep themselves on task, to manage their time and assignments, to wrangle in their various items of school-related paperwork into a workable system.

Not my daughter. She practically came out of the womb organizing a binder.

All this to say, she’s so easy to parent that sometimes the Leo in me feels unneeded. Narcissistic or not, it’s the truth.

But this night, she needed me. Almost in tears, she came to me for help in learning to do a backbend. I hid, admirably, my joy at being asked for assistance.

I was a bit frustrated that I couldn’t actually show her how to do one. I’m more than capable in my normal body state, but now that I’m 6 and a half months pregnant, a backbend seemed neither possible nor advisable.

So I stuck to going through the various tricks I’d learned back in my childhood gymnastic classes. At first, no luck. It seemed impossible for her. Her arms just didn’t want to lift her up into position.

And then, with a few more tricks and adjustments, she started to see how it might happen. And then, with more work together, she got it. Perfectly. She did it again and again, shocked that something so impossible just a few minutes before, was now not only possible, but easy.

She thanked me profusely and gave me the tightest, least “teenaged” hug she’d given me in forever. She must have thanked me 10 times. Later, right before bed, she quickly laid on the floor to do it again and was so happy it had now become muscle memory for her. Easy! She was delighted. She smiled that smile I used to see all the time but is a bit more rare these days.

And that’s why I want to do this parent thing again. Because every time you can help your children gain a new skill or overcome a challenge, it’s all worth it. Your joy at their successes far, far outweighs joys for your own accomplishments.

I’m not in the business of oohing and aahing over babies for babies sake (though they do smell awfully good) but I am all about helping to create happy, productive humans.

One backbend at a time.

5 Ways in which I’m not as Penelope as you’d think

Meredith — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 15:00:16 +0000

We talk a lot here at Penelope Loves Lists about what makes us a Penelope. But I got to thinking about the fact that there are a few ways in which I am stunningly un-Penelope. I thought I’d share. But, the deal is, you have to air your dirty laundry, too. Read on…

5 Ways in which I’m not as Penelope as you’d think:

I have a much larger closet in our new home and I love it. Love, love love. I do not, however, have matching hangers. Never have. People are constantly surprised by this. I could have matching hangers, I know this. They don’t have to be expensive. But I just don’t care enough to do it. Very un-Penelope.
I despise clutter and my house is extremely clutter-free. But, I hoard books. Books are the one category of “stuff” that doesn’t qualify as clutter in my mind. Can’t. Have. Too. Many. Books. Even unwieldly piles of books are fine by me. More than fine, they’re comforting. I’ve got a pile by my bed, a pile on the table by my seat on the couch, and shelves full of books I’ve not yet gotten a chance to read. Kinda bugs my husband, but I just have to be surrounded by books.
My pajama drawer is constantly a mess. Every other drawer I have is completely organized by type of clothing and even color. But, since I was a kid, my pajamas are just un-wrangleable. No idea why.
I can’t stand cleaning the shower. In fact, honestly? If my husband didn’t especially love a clean shower, and clean it himself regularly, I shudder to think what our shower would look like. There, I said it.
I’ll use things longer than you’d think. I have a coffee cup that I bought with my niece that has a chip in it. But I use it almost daily, mainly because it reminds me of her. The chip doesn’t ruin that, in fact, it makes me love it more. And, we have a faded, green sofa with fraying edges and flat cushions that I only parted with when we got our new house and it simply didn’t fit the larger living areas. We put the sofa in a guest room temporarily and I still find myself drawn to it. The truth is, the majority of this post was written from that tired, old, comfy couch.

And now, confession time. What about you? In what ways are you not as Penelope as people would guess?

PS: Baby update for those who are interested: I’m at 23 weeks this week and am developing a serious little basketball shape under my shirts. Given that I never really “showed” with my daughter (I know, weird, right?), this is kind of fun. We had our 20 week ultrasound 2 weeks ago and were incredibly grateful and excited to get a good report. Little Jackson is developing right along and enjoying getting Mom’s attention at bedtime by kicking up a storm right as she’s ready to go to sleep. Love.

And….we’re back. And I do mean we.

Meredith — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 04:39:44 +0000

Ahhhh, Penelopes. How I’ve missed you! I’ve appreciated all of your personal emails and well wishes, along with all the sweet notes, urging me to…er…get the lead out and start posting again. Makes me feel good to know you care.

So, what gives, you ask? What’s kept me away and silent for so long? I’ll tell you, but, bear with me, this post is lengthy. Feel free to skim.

Most of you have probably guessed it, so I’ll just confirm: my husband and I are having a baby!

A little background first. My husband has 2 boys from previous relationships, age 21 and 11. I’ve helped raise the 11 year old since infancy. I have one biological daughter, who is turning – ahem – 16 next Monday. Good Lord.

So, while this new little one is not our first time at the rodeo (and boy, is that phrase played out or what?) it is a first in several ways.

First, he’s the first one either of us got to actually plan. (Did I tell you he’s a boy? He is!) And that was weird. After so many years of trying desperately not to get pregnant, it’s a real mindfudge to actually try to get pregnant. I thought maybe we’d get stage fright, but we muscled through admirably. And I found that the planning part wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped. I actually wrote about some of the issues I was having here.

Second, this is our first baby together. First time both of us are in a happy, real, solid relationship when a child was created. That’s been wonderful. My husband’s been unspeakably amazing through all of this.

Third, this is my first baby, in, like, an ice age. Seriously, being pregnant at 20 and then 37 are two totally different things. Whooo baby. Different in some great ways and some not so great ways. (Want to take bets as to whether or not I’ll come home from the hospital, post-delivery, in my pre-pregnancy jeans. Ha! Yet, I did exactly that when I had my daughter. One laughs. And then cries.)

So, we planned this baby and wanted it very much. Then I miscarried on our first attempt back in August (and wrote about it in a veiled way here.) And that, my friends, is serious business. I think I knew intellectually that miscarriage was serious, but until I experienced it, I never fully understood the total gutcheck that losing a much-wanted pregnancy is. We got through it, and grew closer, but it threw me for a loop for a while.

Then, I got pregnant in November and – whoa Nellie – it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was super nauseous 24 hours a day for weeks and couldn’t remember a time when I liked food. And the fatigue. Wow. I didn’t experience it with my daughter. Maybe because back then I didn’t have an entire family to take care of and a company to run. But this time, I was tired in a way I never thought possible.

And I struggled against my Penelope self all the way through. I knew why I was tired, but the reality of being so tired and sick that I ordered a pizza on a Wednesday night, or that my kids had to eat cereal for dinner on a Tuesday, well, my ego took a major beating. I was so used to being able to do more in a day than others do in a week that I needed to really look at how I was valuing myself and why I thought others valued me.

Turns out, my wonderful staff still respected me, even when I was cranky with them. (They are a truly stellar bunch of Penelopes.) And my family loved me even when I didn’t cook dinner and do a million chores before the sun rose.

I think I needed that lesson. Actually, I know I did. It was humbling.

And I struggled with the paralyzing fear every day of losing this pregnancy. Once it’s happened to you, it feels so…possible to have it happen again. And the pregnancy feels so tenuous and tedious. All the waiting about drove me insane. Just crawling through those first few weeks was a feat.

Then, just as the worst of the physical symptoms started to abate a bit and we got through that glorious 12 week appointment and saw the heartbeat again and felt that things were proceeding at a good pace, another huge tidal wave hit: we decided to buy a new, larger home to fit our family.

And you know the toll that takes on your time and energy. Between the orchestrations of the escrow and the move, on top of the job and the family and the growing of the human, well, this Penelope was pooped.

So, I took a break. More out of pure necessity than anything. I just couldn’t do a single thing that absolutely didn’t have to be done.

I’ve missed the blog and, more, all of you, and am glad to be to a place where I can finally do some writing again.

I can’t promise I’ll go back to a normal posting schedule, but I am going to give it my best shot. I’ll try not to turn Penelope into a mommy blog (though I do love me some mommy blogs) but I will most likely be posting, along with the normal Penelope content, a bit more on baby-related items than I have in the past, just because that’s what I’m dealing with at this point. I hope you’ll be ok with it.

Again, my apologies for the radio silence and thank you for hanging around. I don’t feel that I deserve so much loyalty, but I appreciate it and thank you from the bottom of my Penelope heart.

Penelope PS: Since we’re always looking for ways to de-clutter and thin out our stuff: if anyone has maternity clothes and/or baby boy clothes in good condition for which you’re looking for a good home, send me an email and we can chat. I’ll be keeping everything in good condition myself and then will be passing them off to another Penelope later.

In fact, I’ve been mulling ways that we could use the Penelope community to facilitate this kind of swap. Anyone with ideas should email me on that, too!

Are Penelopes Born or Made – or both?

Meredith — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 17:00:07 +0000

My daughter is 15 years old and she was born a Penelope. I say this because I know for a fact that I never taught her to be an organized perfectionist. She came out that way.

When she was just one year old, she’d sort her blocks by color and couldn’t leave a book on the floor, she had to put it on a shelf. I didn’t make her this way, or teach her these skills, or even encourage them. They came to her naturally.

This translated easily into her academic life. From her first day in kindergarten, she loved everything about school: the activities and the structure, even the grading process. And don’t even get me started on her love of September School Supply Shopping. She’s in heaven in a Staples, just like her mother.

The other day, I was dropping some laundry off in her room and glanced up at her whiteboard, which she uses each evening to guide her through her homework. That’s right. Every night, she goes over her planner (which is a wonder in and of itself) and decides what that night’s homework entails and translates that to a whiteboard. And she color codes by subject, of course.

I just found myself staring at the board and being so amazed at how naturally this came for her. My sons, who are smart, hardworking young men, struggle with every step of the organization process. I’ve worked and worked with them and they just have such a hard time. They can’t seem to get it. And for my DD, it just…happened.

So, two questions: are girls just more organized by nature? And, are Penelopes made, or born, or both?

How to keep your kids’ toys from overtaking your home

Meredith — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 17:00:04 +0000

I’m so glad to be able to offer you this really useful guest post from professional organizer Linda Samuels, author of “The Other Side of Organized”.

The question of how to rein in the chaos of kids toys is one I get a lot and I couldn’t think of any better person to lend us her wisdom than Linda. Her advice is so smart and completely practical.

Kids and chaos seem to simply go together like peanut butter and jelly. Having raised two children of my own gives me firsthand experience of the frustration that can get in the way of fun when toys take over the house. Many of the organizing techniques I use with my clients have been tested for effectiveness in my own household!

Underlying all of my tips is the proven principle that kids will eventually learn to put away their things if you provide an obvious place for the belongings and are consistent in teaching them how. Organization can go beyond giving the relief of having a neat playroom; it can encourage the kids to be more independent in finding their toys and picking up after themselves. They feel like big kids, and that is a huge help to parents. A little strategizing can go a long way toward a smoother, functioning household and leave more time for fun!

Make it fun. Sorting, matching and lining up collections are activities that kids do on their own. They also are important tasks in organizing their toys. To make organizing time feel more like playtime, consider these ideas:

Use clear or brightly colored plastic boxes to store toys on shelves. Label boxes with words, pictures or actual objects to help your kids easily identify what goes where.
Use small plastic or wicker baskets to store similar toys together. Kids love being able to tote, empty and fill the baskets.

Make it accessible. Whatever structure or system you implement, make sure your kids can easily use.

Place shelving low enough for kids to reach. However, consider some higher shelving for storing toys with many small pieces. Having these toys out of reach will encourage partial clean up before taking out more.
Use pull-out storage containers on wheels, or other large flat containers from under beds for storing toys.
Low hooks are also great for accessing dress-up clothes and accessories.

Underwhelm. The less you have, the easier it is to maintain. It is also easier to make choices about what to play with when fewer options are available. Consider these techniques for having less visible clutter:

Cycle toys as you do clothing. Store half the toys away in boxes. In a few months, bring them out and store others away. This will make toy selection and management easier.
Once you’ve done your pruning of your existing toys, going forward, establish the one toy in, one toy out policy. This will help you maintain a better toy equilibrium.

Let Go. Whether it’s toys, kids or ideas, we all have to learn how to let go. Helping your children learn how to say good-bye to toys that they’ve outgrown, are broken or have missing pieces is a valuable life skill.

It’s easier to let go when we know our things are going to someone else that will appreciate them. Talk with your kids about donating extra toys to kids that have less. Kids usually love knowing that they are helping other kids.
Your kids might want to keep some toys as mementos even if they are no longer played with. Box those toys and relocate them to a safe, remote area in your home and show them they are nearby. You may discover that after some time has passed, they no longer want to keep those toys. Periodically, it’s worth reviewing the box with them.

Be consistent. To help your kids develop good organizational habits, you’ll want to be consistent.

Set aside the same time of day to help them get back to square one.
Work with them to help maintain focus on organizing and putting things away. If they like music, experiment with some upbeat music to keep you motivated and energized as you work. Let them pick the music.
Encourage and never nag or berate them. Organizing doesn’t come easily to everyone. Be patient. Make organizing a positive experience.

Linda Samuels

Be a role model. We can’t expect our kids to do what we ourselves are not doing. So, if you want your kids to stay organized and you are not modeling this yourself, start with getting your areas in order first. Once you are organized enough, then begin to help your kids to do the same.

Want to know more about Linda and all of her practical organizing advice? Check out her website and follow her on Twitter.

Loads of Artwork and Not Enough Wall: how to organize your kids artwork

Meredith — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 16:00:14 +0000

One question I get all the time is how I handle my kids artwork.

Confession: I wish I were more sentimental about my kids artwork, I really do. They work so hard on it and, when they’re little, they’re so cute when they stick out their tongues as they concentrate on that perfect dinosaur drawing.

But, when they’re in that “artwork phase”, and that phase lasts for years, there’s just so darn much of it that piles up. The Penelope in me wouldn’t let me keep all of it, or, even, much of it, but I always ALWAYS felt guilty about throwing anything they made away.

Here are a few tips to keep both the Mommy and Penelope sides of you happy:

Create an Art “Gallery”:

With these cute artwork hangers from The Land of Nod, you can create a rotating “gallery” of your little Monet’s drawings. If you put it low enough on the wall of their rooms, the little ones can even learn to change out the artwork themselves. The art gets its time in the “The Gallery” and then gets recycled as new art takes its place. No guilt, you’ve done your part for the art.

Artwork Banner from The Land of Nod

An easy DIY of this item would be just to hang some yarn and use either cute clips available at Michael’s or Target or just painted and decorated clothespins. Would take just a bit more work, but accomplish the same thing.

You could also deem your refrigerator “The Gallery” and treat the whole family to the Artwork of the Moment.

Create a “Best Of” Album or File:

For those true masterpieces, create either a “Best Of” photo album or an expandable file, with pockets labeled for each of the kids. Or, each child could get an expandable file of her own, with each pocket labeled for a year of her life.

This way, those truly special items can be saved for posterity. Just make sure to “containerize” this (we’ve all read Organizing from the Inside Out, Second Edition: The Foolproof System For Organizing Your Home, Your Office and Your Life" target="_blank">Organizing from the Inside Out and know about containerizing, right?) and not let the “Best Of” items grow larger than the space allotted.

Scan the Art and Have A Book Created for You:

Another tip comes from a Penelope named Michelle, who reminds us that you can scan the artwork and save it on your computer. When you’re ready, have it all made into a photo album by a website like Snapfish.com.

Create a Book of Your Child's Artwork

With any of these options, you’ll give your kids the attention their creativity deserves, and do it both stylishly and without a lot of stuff piling up. Perfect.

I’m sure the Penelope community has many more tips for how to control our kids artwork. What works best for you?

Assignment: get ready for flu season

Meredith — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 16:00:57 +0000

Historically, I’ve been a fairly “hearty” type. I’ve gone years without taking a sick day. But, last year, I got sick twice and it was hell. Once with the H1N1 virus and once, much, much worse, with the seasonal flu. I’ve never been that sick, honestly. I had mistakenly thought I didn’t need a flu shot, but now I’ve learned my lesson. This year, I’ll be first in line to get that injection.

via Blooming Natural Health

So, because I love all of you, and because the CDC is recommending that EVERY person over 6 months old get a flu shot this year, here’s your assignment: get your flu shot if you haven’t already. Make plans for you and your family now, either by finding out if your medical provider gives them for free as part of your plan and when they do that, or finding the nearest pharmacy offering the shots for a small fee. Get this on your calendar or go do it now.

Let’s hope this will mean that you don’t have to deal with the flu, but, just in case, let’s prepare anyway.

First, go through your current stock of medications, both prescription and over-the-counter, and toss out anything that’s expired. Note that you shouldn’t just flush or throw away any prescription medication, as it can enter the water supply or end up in the wrong hands. You should turn in expired medications to your pharmacy and let them dispose of it safely.
Make sure you can find your thermometer and that it’s working properly. Buy a digital one if you don’t have one. I wouldn’t have known that my flu had turned into a bacterial sinus infection if I couldn’t accurately monitor my fever. (I mean, I knew I was sick, but in my haze, I just didn’t know my fever had gotten that high.)
Stock up on ibuprofen, nasal decongestants and cough suppressants.
Make sure you’ve got plenty of Kleenex. Don’t rely on toilet paper for blowing your nose. You need a nice, soft Kleenex or you’ll rip up your poor nose right quick. Not pretty.
Check your supply of tea bags and make sure you’ve got some good old chicken noodle soup. Cliched, yes. Surprisingly effective, though.

I hope you’ll never need this stockpile. But, if you or your family does need it, you’ll be so glad you’re prepared and don’t have to run out in the middle of the night when you’re feeling miserable.

Here’s to a healthy fall and winter, Penelopes!

My Favorite Office Supplies for the Kitchen

Meredith — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 16:00:56 +0000

Today, a guest post from a super clever Penelope, Jennifer. I love her ideas for expanding the use of office supplies into the kitchen.

Two of the things I can’t live without in my kitchen originally came from the office supply store: a Sharpie and binder clips.

I keep the Sharpie Permanent Marker Fine Tip 8 Pack" target="_blank">Sharpie in my silverware drawer (not in a random kitchen junk drawer!) so I can easily pull it out and write the date on jars that I open. Spaghetti sauce, that interesting but slightly odd salsa we tried, half-used cream cheese now stranded without a bagel in the house–the sort of thing which can sometimes sit there for a while. Having the date on there just makes it easier for me to see at a glance if a jar might still be viable or needs to be cleared out.

Sharpie Permanent Marker Fine Tip 8 Pack">

I use Acco 2 Inch Large Binder Clips, Black, 12 Pack (A7072100B)" target="_blank">binder clips instead of those silly, giant clips to keep bags closed. I used to use clothespins, but I hate when they flip apart and I have to maneuver them back together. Nope, binder clips. They don’t take up much space either inside a cereal box or in their container on my windowsill–plus they’re super strong, never fall apart and they’re inexpensive.

Thanks, Jennifer. I love these ideas. In fact, my chip clips have been mysteriously disappearing. Now I’m just going to grab a binder clip and use that, instead of making a trip to Target for replacements.

What about you? What clever things are you using in places or in ways they weren’t originally intended? Unique and useful ideas could very well end up as guest posts here on Penelope, so let us hear from you!