I’m super jazzed to once again welcome Guest Poster and SAHM Penelope Melinda to the blog. Last time, she gave us some tips to help preserve our sanity during the kids’ summer vacation. This time, she’s helping us refine our kids’s daily tasks as we get into the school year.

The Back-To-School extravaganza is upon us and we are ready. School supplies purchased, check. New clothes washed and folded, check. Backpacks filled, check.

Lunches made…wait, not sure. Alarm clock set, oops, I forgot.

This is how it usually goes in the home of this Penelope. All of the big, exciting preparations are made but it’s those little yet crucial tasks that are quickly put on the back burner by our darling scholars.

Let’s face it: we can be as organized as possible and yet we still find ourselves bellowing up the stairs, “Don’t forget to brush your teeth!!”

It was actually my husband who provided me with this “aha” moment. One morning, he had the privilege of listening to my litany of reminder to my kids. And then he said, “They would forget it all if it weren’t for you.” And he was right…but it left me discouraged. My job as a parent it is to equip them to live without me! I needed a new plan, one that would encourage independence and self-sufficiency.

Enter The Sticks.

The System:

I grabbed a pile of popscicle sticks. On each stick, I wrote a morning job that needed to be completed (make bed, brush teeth, grab your lunch, take your vitamin). Same thing for the evening tasks. On the back of each was a consequence, some natural (be hungry because you forgot your lunch) others punitive (lose 30 minutes of computer time). If the child doesn’t complete that task, she knows exactly what the consequence will be. It’s consistent and there are never any surprises.

Then I made a set of “point sticks”. One stick = one point. If they successfully complete all of their tasks from the morning, they get one point, same thing for their evening tasks. For the school week, there are 10 possible points to be earned.

Next, I created a “sticks” pouch for the bedroom. Using old placemats and a sewing machine (or hot glue if you prefer), I fashioned these little creations, one for each of my school age children.

Idea: This entire system could also be done in a “no sew” way by using 2 sets of 3 labeled glass jars, and moving the sticks from the left jar to the middle and point sticks going in jar on the far right. Your kids could get into the game by labeling and decorating the jars themselves. Or not. Up to you. I know how we Penelopes love to label.

The top section is for the Morning Tasks, the bottom for the Nighttime Tasks (responsibilities such as taking out the trash or packing up homework).

The sticks all start the day on the left. (My kids actually have a stick to remind them to move their sticks over…ha!) When they complete a task, they move its stick to the middle. If they earn a point, the number stick goes in the last little pocket.

One of the things that I love about the sticks is that I can add or subtract jobs as needed. If they have short days and don’t need a lunch, I remove the stick. If they have laundry to put away, I add the laundry stick. “Point” sticks and “odd-job” sticks are kept in a mug on the dresser.

The Reward for the Kids:

My kids earn a point for each morning and evening set that they complete fully each day. If, at the end of the week, they have earned 8 of the 10 possible points, they are rewarded with a slightly later bedtime the following week. If they earn all 10 points, they get a later bedtime AND a movie night on Friday (big news in our house as we aren’t big TV people). Obviously, you know which rewards will give your kids the best buy-in…use it to your advantage.

Note that you can transition your kids as they get older from the “Sticks” Method into a “To Do List” method using a lot of these same concepts. You can create a daily list using the customizable FeelGood Lists we learned about a while ago. This would give your older kids a strong foundation for using list-making to keep themselves focused and on task.

The Payoff for Me:

This system may sound a bit complicated, but it has saved me a litany of reminders and has taught my children to be more self-sufficient. And, the fact the I’m not constantly nagging at them has made for a more peaceful household.

For this Penelope Mom of four in the throes of a new school year, a little peace and quiet is my new best friend.

Related posts:

1. Why do I own 1,000 pencils? A solution for vanishing school supplies
2. How Penelope keeps herself sane when the kids are out of school
3. More summer sanity solutions: three ways to get kids reading over summer vacation

Given that my family and I live in only 1,100 square feet of teeny tiny house, we have to consistently work to keep our home uncluttered. In order to do that, once a quarter, we dedicate a Saturday morning to the “Quarterly Cleanout”.

What is the Quarterly Cleanout?
It’s about one hour, once every 3 months, where every member of the family (our kids are 11 and 15) participates in thinning out and re-organizing his or her space.

How does it work?

1. First and foremost, I actually put the dates for these Cleanout Sessions on my calendar.
2. A week beforehand, I let my family know that the date is approaching so they can not make plans elsewhere during that time. They must be at home. If it weren’t for these first two steps, this whole process wouldn’t happen. Truth.
3. On the day, each of us makes 2 piles in the hall: one for donation, one for trash. We each spend 30 minutes in our rooms grabbing anything we’re not wearing, using or loving anymore. It’s always surprising to me how things pile up in just 3 months. {By the way, notice I said to take just 30 minutes. The time element is key here. Loyal readers, you’ll note this is almost always part of my strategy. You set a timer and move fast. If things take a hugely long time, you’re apt not to do them. So, set the clock and boogie. Don’t get distracted. Don’t answer the phone, don’t talk with each other. Just do it.}
4. At the end of the 30 minutes, we gather all items for donation, bag them up and put them immediately into the back of the car. All trash items go immediately outside to the big trash or recycling cans, awaiting collection.
5. After we’ve finished, we head out to the nearest Goodwill, donate our items and only then reward ourselves with a lunch at our favorite Greek place.

Why does this work?

• It happens regularly. The calendar tells us when to do it. We do it. Period.
• Every member of the family helps and is responsible for his or her own area.
• Everyone sees the benefits of living in less clutter. (Or, maybe it just jazzes the heck out of me and they do it to put me in a good mood and keep me from being Stabby Mommy. Either way is ok with me.)
• We do the whole thing in one fell swoop. We don’t leave bags of stuff hanging out to be dealt with later. This would prolong the task and make it feel much more arduous and annoying.

What’s the point?

Not only does this keep our house uncluttered, but it creates a habit of “thin living” for our children that we hope they’ll carry into their adult lives. (Fingers crossed!) And, I gotta say, it’s kinda fun, working together as a team.

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1. Reader Quandry: Need Your Opinions, Penelopes!
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I got some really smart feedback from reader Jennifer about our recent post on ways to keep your kids busy during summer vacation. Her ideas were so great, I just had to share them with you.

Here are three more ways Jenne keeps her 10-year-old daughter reading over the summer:

1) This summer we decided to create our own Summer Reading Program, rather than join the one our library is doing (although that’s another great thing to do).

My daughter loves the Harry Potter books, so I assigned each book in the series (except the first one, which everyone knows inside and out) a two week period. At the end of the two weeks, after she and I have both read the book, we will have a quiz about it (there are about 9,000 of them that are easily found online, but here’s a good one to start) and maybe rent the movie, too.

This makes our reading a bit more directed, knowing we’ll be testing our knowledge and talking about the differences between the book and the movie.

2) We also decided to do a “Battle of the Books”. Do you remember that from grade school? It’s where several people read the same list of books and then, on a specific day, get together and break into teams, and answer questions on the books. Points are tallied and prizes given to the team who knows the books best.

My mother was my grade school librarian, and the “Battle of the Books” Queen. Since her birthday is in September, and our family is a big bunch of readers, my daughter and I decided that at Grandma’s birthday, we will hold our family’s first Battle of the Books.

On Father’s Day, we will give everyone the list of books (mostly chosen from the fabulous Children’s Notable List. Everyone has to come up with one question from each of the 12 books. These questions will form our Battle Quiz. It’s funny that my daughter, the youngest family member by far (she’s the only kid!) is confident she’ll be on the winning team!

3) We love to go to bookstores, but that can get spendy fast. The Half Price Books Feed Your Brain Summer Reading Program offers $3 gift cards for their store *every week* to kids 14 and under who read at least 15 minutes a day. This is a great alternative to buying full-priced items and helps kids feel like they’re earning their own books. Half Price Books also provides another fabulously resource-rich suggested reading list.

Thanks for sharing, Jenne! Reading is such a great way to spend a hot summer afternoon with the kids.

Please keep your ideas coming. We Penelopes need all the strategies we can get our hands on!

Related posts:

1. How Penelope keeps herself sane when the kids are out of school
2. Enter the Sticks: how to get your kids’ daily tasks streamlined for the school year
3. One more chapter, please: great books to read aloud to your kids

Today’s post is brought to us by one my favorite commenters, a SAHM Penelope named Melinda. She’s got so many great ideas for keeping her home running smoothly and herself sane, that I asked her to give us some insight on how she handles summertime with 4 kids at home.

Melinda doesn’t have a blog – yet! Let’s hope we can convince her she needs one.

Summertime is here! For some, this means afternoons lying in the sun with an iPod and the latest issue of Real Simple. For others, namely mothers, it elicits terror as our Penelope plans fly out the window and the kids tumble in the door…for three long months.

School's Out!

Enter the Summertime Game Plan.

Some ideas are born out of inspiration…others out of complete desperation. I admit that my summertime plans were born out of the latter. Having 4 kids ranging in age by more than a decade, I needed a strategy…quick! Over the years we have altered it due to ages, interests and growing number of children, but the backbone remained the same. Each day has a loose schedule to it, and every morning, I communicate that schedule to the kids, so they know what’s on the agenda.

The goal: keep Mom and kids happily engaged without spending a ton of money. Here’s what we’ve done:

1.) The Calendar: Everyone has one, ages 4 and up. Print one off on-line (here’s a good one from Simple Mom) and have the kids decorate it with markers and summertime stickers. Whenever a plan comes up, have them all write it down on their own calendar. This builds anticipation and satisfies the desires of your need-to-know munchkins (the mini-Penelopes).

2.) Your Own Little Literary Society: Make reading a priority.

• Stock up on books at second-hand shops, library book sales, garage sales or neighbor-swaps and have the kids choose a new book each week. These should be fun and age-appropriate, not a chore.
• Couple this with a daily read-aloud time (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe are two of our faves.) You may also work this in with a book-on-CD. This builds all-important listening skills and is a fantastic and stress-free bonding activity.
• Finally, put a weekly trip to the library on your calendar. Let the kids stock up and take part in the summertime reading program that your local branch organizes. There are free magic and puppet shows and prizes to win along the way.
  

  Image courtesy Charlotte's Fancy

3.) A Trip to the Theater: most communities host free summer movies throughout the summer. Yep, I said FREE. Showings are at 10am and feature previously-shown G and PG films. We can’t wait to see Clifford the Big Red Dog. Anyone else? Find one in your community here.

4.) Tantalizing Tickets: head to your nearest office supply store and grab a roll of raffle tickets. Then, let the kids decorate a big glass jar and place it somewhere showy. Throughout the summer, hand out the tickets when the kids are doing a fantastic job. Helping out a sibling…here’s a ticket. Emptying the dishwasher, here’s two more. Anytime I caught my kids with a great attitude or helping out the family, I’d reward the behavior with a ticket. The catch? They couldn’t ask for them. Their behavior had to be noticed. They all worked together to earn 150 tickets at which time, we headed to Sunsplash water park (or your big prize of choice). That trip was worth every ticket!

5.) Treat of the Week: Have each child write down three to four  fun activities that they’d like to do over the summer that cost no more than $15 total (out for ice cream, a trip to Border’s, roller-skating on 2 for 1 Tuesday, a Slurpee at the 7-11). Then, stick all of the dreams in a jar. Each week, choose one (feel the excitement??) and schedule it into… you guessed it…the calendar.

6.) Binders: We do homework in the summer. It’s not for everyone but I’m a teacher by trade, so I can’t help it. Over the years, I’d hand my kids a binder with 4 sections (math facts, reading comprehension, puzzles like Sudoku and a silent-reading chart) and a timer. Each section took 15 minutes. Each day from 1-2pm, I went on break and the kids self-regulated their work. If they did a good job, more tickets came their way. (Note: math facts and puzzles can be found free on-line. Make use of them. Your kids’ teachers will thank you.)

Samantha Mackie - The Cooks Larder

7.) Cooking Class: Grab a kid’s cookbook at the library and have the kids each choose a recipe they’d like to learn to make. Summer is the perfect time to let them get their hands dirty and give cooking a try. If they are 8 or older and the recipe seems safe, leave the kitchen while the do it. We Penelopes tend to hover which drives young cooks CRAZY. Just remind them that they are on clean-up duty and slowly back away. It’ll be okay. It might even be fun.

These are just a few ideas that have kept this Penelope sane over the summers. Hopefully, you’ll find a strategy that strikes your fancy. Here’s to a stress-free summer that just might involve a moment to peruse Real Simple after all.

Related posts:

1. More summer sanity solutions: three ways to get kids reading over summer vacation
2. Enter the Sticks: how to get your kids’ daily tasks streamlined for the school year
3. A “Wicked” Confession, or: a reminder that I’m far from perfect

Given that the kids are off school this week, I started thinking that it’s the perfect opportunity to spend some time in each kid’s room, making piles of toys, books, clothes and shoes that can be donated this year. (It’s also a good chance for you to do the same in your own closet.)

This doesn’t have to be a huge thing, this is a busy week. Just set the timer for 20-30 minutes and see what you can get done. If you’re working from home while your older kids are off for the holiday, assign this to them. Give them a large black plastic bag and tell them they need to fill it with things they don’t use or wear anymore.

This assignment serves two important purposes:

1. we know there’s a tremendous need at all the donation charities, this year more than ever. Get those outgrown clothes, books and toys into the hands of people who can use them. Click here to find your local Goodwill.
2. this clears out room in your house for the gifts your family will receive for Christmas.

Parent alert: If, during this process, your kids balk at giving away toys you know they’ve outgrown and don’t play with, go through that pile together and let them choose 3 toys to keep. You’ll still be way ahead of the game. And take that opportunity to talk about how much other kids will love playing with those toys. It’s a great teachable moment.

Or, and I’ve totally done this: have your husband take the kids out to see a movie and get hot chocolate and go through their stuff while they’re gone. Sure, you’ll look like a crazy person madly trying to get this task done before they return, but 5 bucks says your kids don’t notice the stuff is gone. Your choice. Whatever feels right…

Taking the time to do this task early this week will make things much easier when it comes time to find homes for all the new Christmas gifts your family received. It’ll keep the clutter down and make the new stuff easier to enjoy.

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My kids, aged 10 and 14, are great students, and I’m thankful. Part and parcel with this, however, is that they’re terrible hoarders of school supplies. After complaining multiple times that I’d bought 188 glue sticks, 350 pairs of scissors and over 1,000 pencils and was STILL being pestered for more, I decided that we needed to centralize the system.

Instead of having them keep their school supplies in their rooms, such items now live in “Supply Central”, otherwise known as a shelf in our central hall closet. Each kid may each keep a small number of necessary items on their desks, of course, but everything else must live in Supply Central and they retrieve things from there as they need them.

Bonus: This year, as I prepared to do Back to School Supply shopping, all I had to do was go to my Supply Central, make a list of some necessary items for replenishment and off we go. Best part? I still had several pencils and glue sticks left from last year’s shopping. Magic!

PENELOPE TIP: Other than one binder, some paper and pens/pencils, do NOT go shopping for school supplies until AFTER the first day of school. My early preparation instincts fought against this for years, but I’ve finally come to realize it’s just not smart. Your kids will get lists of things their teachers want for their specific classes and you’re going to need to make a separate trip anyway. Why not save an errand and instead build that trip to Staples into your First Day of School afternoon schedule?

Related posts:

1. Enter the Sticks: how to get your kids’ daily tasks streamlined for the school year
2. How Penelope keeps herself sane when the kids are out of school
3. Tips for “Power” Grocery Shopping