Penelope Loves Lists » Who is Penelope?

5 Ways in which I’m not as Penelope as you’d think

Meredith — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 15:00:16 +0000

We talk a lot here at Penelope Loves Lists about what makes us a Penelope. But I got to thinking about the fact that there are a few ways in which I am stunningly un-Penelope. I thought I’d share. But, the deal is, you have to air your dirty laundry, too. Read on…

5 Ways in which I’m not as Penelope as you’d think:

I have a much larger closet in our new home and I love it. Love, love love. I do not, however, have matching hangers. Never have. People are constantly surprised by this. I could have matching hangers, I know this. They don’t have to be expensive. But I just don’t care enough to do it. Very un-Penelope.
I despise clutter and my house is extremely clutter-free. But, I hoard books. Books are the one category of “stuff” that doesn’t qualify as clutter in my mind. Can’t. Have. Too. Many. Books. Even unwieldly piles of books are fine by me. More than fine, they’re comforting. I’ve got a pile by my bed, a pile on the table by my seat on the couch, and shelves full of books I’ve not yet gotten a chance to read. Kinda bugs my husband, but I just have to be surrounded by books.
My pajama drawer is constantly a mess. Every other drawer I have is completely organized by type of clothing and even color. But, since I was a kid, my pajamas are just un-wrangleable. No idea why.
I can’t stand cleaning the shower. In fact, honestly? If my husband didn’t especially love a clean shower, and clean it himself regularly, I shudder to think what our shower would look like. There, I said it.
I’ll use things longer than you’d think. I have a coffee cup that I bought with my niece that has a chip in it. But I use it almost daily, mainly because it reminds me of her. The chip doesn’t ruin that, in fact, it makes me love it more. And, we have a faded, green sofa with fraying edges and flat cushions that I only parted with when we got our new house and it simply didn’t fit the larger living areas. We put the sofa in a guest room temporarily and I still find myself drawn to it. The truth is, the majority of this post was written from that tired, old, comfy couch.

And now, confession time. What about you? In what ways are you not as Penelope as people would guess?

PS: Baby update for those who are interested: I’m at 23 weeks this week and am developing a serious little basketball shape under my shirts. Given that I never really “showed” with my daughter (I know, weird, right?), this is kind of fun. We had our 20 week ultrasound 2 weeks ago and were incredibly grateful and excited to get a good report. Little Jackson is developing right along and enjoying getting Mom’s attention at bedtime by kicking up a storm right as she’s ready to go to sleep. Love.

Reader Quandry: My boss is NOT a Penelope

Meredith — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 17:00:36 +0000

I’ve been getting a lot of questions from Penelopes asking me how I handle certain organizational dilemmas. (Though, I gotta say, I’m not a professional organizer, I just have my own way of doing things, so, fair warning.) Any time I get the same question several times, I think it’s time to make a post of it. That’s the case here.

The most recent question comes from Zoe. She’s a Penelope with a problem. Here’s what she says:

Dear Penelope:

I have a boss who is not organized but expects everyone else to be. She likes paper, and wants binders for everything. She also likes to keep all her e-mail. I’m responsible for reading all of her e-mail and printing everything that has a date or needs action. I have to give it to her and then keep a copy for myself to follow-up with her.

I put all of her e-mail in a red folder so she can see them, but at times she still doesn’t act upon them. This is further complicated by the fact that she only gives me the ability to read but not to forward or reply to her e-mail. She also expects me to forward e-mails that she receives but I have to copy and paste them into my e-mail system to send them out. It’s so inefficient!

Also, when she’s in the office she takes all of her stuff once she has reviewed it and brings it to me to act upon. Then, when something else pops into her mind, she calls me or “pings” me on the computer to state a task she’d like me to do. So a lot of times I can’t finish one task before I get another request from her.

On top of all this, I still have my other daily assignments – reports, my own e-mail and other processes. I’m drowning.

I need some guidance on the best way to organize all of this and make sure I’m being as efficient as possible. I like to be the best. What can I do to get more organized?

Help!

Zoe

And here’s my answer:

Dear Zoe,

You may not like this answer. But, the truth is, you don’t have an organization problem. You have a boss problem.

I could placate you with suggestions of new “systems” and links to more binders and folders, but as long as your boss insists on such inefficient, time-wasting, redundant processes, you’re not going to feel organized. Because organization isn’t about folders and binders, it’s about doing things quickly and well so you can move onto other tasks.

My suggestion is that you take the time to outline how you think your boss’ email system could work better and more efficiently. Then make a list of the additional tasks you could be getting done if she allowed you to adopt the new system. Share with her how much more effective you’d feel if things worked in a way that made more sense.

I’m a boss. I know if my staff came to me with evidence that doing something a different way would make us more productive and profitable, I’d have a hard time ignoring it. Let’s hope your boss feels the same.

What do YOU think, Penelopes? What would you do in her place?

Are Penelopes Born or Made – or both?

Meredith — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 17:00:07 +0000

My daughter is 15 years old and she was born a Penelope. I say this because I know for a fact that I never taught her to be an organized perfectionist. She came out that way.

When she was just one year old, she’d sort her blocks by color and couldn’t leave a book on the floor, she had to put it on a shelf. I didn’t make her this way, or teach her these skills, or even encourage them. They came to her naturally.

This translated easily into her academic life. From her first day in kindergarten, she loved everything about school: the activities and the structure, even the grading process. And don’t even get me started on her love of September School Supply Shopping. She’s in heaven in a Staples, just like her mother.

The other day, I was dropping some laundry off in her room and glanced up at her whiteboard, which she uses each evening to guide her through her homework. That’s right. Every night, she goes over her planner (which is a wonder in and of itself) and decides what that night’s homework entails and translates that to a whiteboard. And she color codes by subject, of course.

I just found myself staring at the board and being so amazed at how naturally this came for her. My sons, who are smart, hardworking young men, struggle with every step of the organization process. I’ve worked and worked with them and they just have such a hard time. They can’t seem to get it. And for my DD, it just…happened.

So, two questions: are girls just more organized by nature? And, are Penelopes made, or born, or both?

How Penelope Takes a Vacation

Meredith — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 17:00:47 +0000

The end of the year means some vacation time for me. We never actually go anywhere because my husband is a UPS guy and he’s not able to get time off in December, for painfully obvious reasons. But, it’s the quietest time of year at my job, and it’s when I can take a bit of a break.

So, no traveling, which is fine by me. I use this time to try to strike a balance between relaxing and doing purely fun stuff and Getting Stuff Done.

It’ll come as no surprise to you Penelopes that I find it impossible to spend entire days, or, even afternoons, doing nothing. I just can’t do it. I feel like such a failure if I do, like I’m wasting precious time that I could be “Being Productive.” It’s a personality flaw I seem powerless to change.

And yet, if I spend my whole vacation effectively working, then I get cranky at the end of it, like I was cheated out of the only real time off I take all year.

I’m a little hard to please, do you see? I can’t even please myself, for heaven’s sake.

So, I’ve struck a deal with my inner Penelope and developed a vacation system that works for me:

Several days before my vacation starts, I make a list of all the tasks I need to accomplish around the house. Some organizing tasks (tackle that linen closet again) some end of year tasks (file 2010 bills and documents) and some cleaning tasks (clean the oven, the refrigerator, the tops of my spice jars. Do not laugh. Wait, what am I saying? You’re not laughing, you’re nodding.)

Then, each day, I make a To Do List/Schedule, trying to balance the productive tasks with the fun stuff.

Here’s what mine looks like for today:

9am clean fridge
10am return library books/go to Walgreens
11am early lunch, watch last week’s Top Chef
1pm go through 2 shelves of linen closet, delete unused items
2pm wrap Christmas gifts
3pm have a chai latte and some time with my new book, Kate Morton’s “The Distant Hours”
5pm start dinner, do evening chores

See? A nice, balanced day. I’ve built in enough time for relaxing and enough “work” to make me feel like I deserve it.

And that, my friends is how this Penelope takes vacation.

What about you? Can you just veg out all day? If so, tell me how. I need advice!

Penelope Poll – dirty laptop edition: What would you do?

Meredith — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 17:00:58 +0000

I had a conundrum the other day that I wanted to run past you. I mainly want to find out if I’m:
a) totally Penelope or
b) a little bit crazy.

Maybe it’s both, but If it’s just option b, tell me, and be as gentle as possible. Here’s what happened:

Last week, for my day job, I had a meeting with a consultant. This guy is smart, capable and so far, we’re really happy with his work for us.

However, last week’s meeting involved a face-to-face demo of some software he’s developing for us. On his laptop. His cute, little white Macbook. Which was really, really dirty.

It drove me to distraction. The meeting went on for 4+ hours, with me trying mightily to keep my focus on the work at hand, instead of concentrating on the horrible fingerprints and food smudges on his computer. There were whole words on the screen that were obscured by the muck. I mean, really!

All I wanted to do was clean it. My entire body itched with the urge. It would have taken maybe 90 seconds and it would have looked like new.

But I don’t know this guy that well yet. He hasn’t been fully vaccinated against my Penelope-ness. I thought about waiting for a break and then saying “Hey, I’m kinda nuts, and this is totally my issue and not at all about you, but would you let me clean your laptop?”

But I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d be offended. And I do not want to offend a good consultant because I’ve got a thing for pristine office equipment. That’s my quirk, not his. In the end, all I could do was just sit on my hands, bite my lip, and try to ignore the mess.

As soon as the meeting ended, I rushed up to my office and re-cleaned my already clean Mac keyboard. I felt better afterwards.

So, what do you think? Did I do the right thing by just keeping my mouth shut? Would you have said something? If so, how would you have broached the topic?

Happy Birthday, Penelope!

Meredith — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 16:59:21 +0000

I can’t believe that it’s been a year since I started Penelope Loves Lists. (You can see my first post here.) I can, however, safely say that this continues to be one of my favorite projects ever!

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating, the single best thing about working on this site is you! All 16,000 of you, Penelopes! Our community is growing every day and I’m so grateful that you take time out of your busy, busy lives to visit the site and comment and email me. You bring me such joy and I truly, truly thank you.

Here’s to another great year of happiness, efficiency and Type A, Penelope living!

When Did You First Know You Were a Penelope?

Meredith — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 16:59:25 +0000

Most Penelopes (though not all) are born, not made. It’s just in our nature.

There’s no better proof of this than the hour right after Halloween’s Trick or Treating is finished. Most kids are all about figuring out how much candy they can eat.

Not so the budding Penelope. She’s not interested in eating. She wants to do one thing: organize her candy. And then count it.

So this photo sent to me by Melinda (she of the fantastic kid-related guest posts here and here) made me smile.

Her four-year-old daughter is a Penelope through and through. She came home from Trick or Treating, peeled off her costume and got to sorting. Then, she counted her candy a total of three times, to be sure to get it right.

I’ll bet so many of us did the exact same thing.

Tell me, Penelopes, when did you first know you were organized by nature?

Reader Quandry: Need Your Opinions, Penelopes!

Meredith — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:00:58 +0000

I got an email the other day from a delightful Penelope named Karen. She’s got a situation brewing and needs some feedback from the Penelope Community.

Here’s what Karen says:

“I have a family member whom I love dearly and with whom I’m very close, but who is also a little bit on the sensitive side. He often visits my home and always insists on helping around the house… sounds nice, right? Except, he doesn’t do things the way I would and it drives me batty. If I make dinner, no amount of “oh, no, don’t worry about the dishes I’ll get them later” will stop him. He insists on doing them… badly.

I know I’m a total nut about how dishes are done, which is why I never ask anyone else to do them. Also, I’m very very, very specific about where and how things are put away. Again, I know that this is all just a quirk of mine and that other people aren’t wrong to put a wire whisk away still damp (mine is silicone, it’s not going to rust, but I Just Do Not Like It.).

After this family member has been to my house, I spend the next week searching for things that are in the wrong place and re-washing fry pans that haven’t had the toothpick treatment (you know, where you dig into the rivets with a toothpick to get the gunk out?).

And to be totally honest, even if he did all these tasks up to my totally wacky standards, I still wouldn’t want the help. I like cleaning my kitchen. It’s my time to relax and gather my thoughts at the end of the day. I like to putter and straighten. Trying to explain that to non-Penelopes is almost impossible. He thinks I’m just being “nice” or being a “good hostess”, but the truth is, if he doesn’t get the heck out of my kitchen I may have to move out of state!

So, how does a Penelope politely get a beloved, helpful, not-quite-Penelope (or should that be Percival??) out of my kitchen without hurting his feelings??”

Here’s my answer:

Hi Karen,

I think there are two possible approaches to this: you could opt to go the easier route and just give your family member different things to do while you clean up the kitchen. He could sweep or dry dishes. Easy stuff.

But, I don’t think that truly gets to the heart of your situation. I think you’re dealing with a deeper, more emotional issue. You’re telling him how you feel and he’s not listening. He’s certainly well-intentioned, but he’s not respecting you. He’s putting his need to help ahead of your happiness.

You have every right to say, nicely but oh-so-clearly, that this will not continue. That you fully understand the sweet, helpful place from which he’s coming, but you like doing things your way and you actually like cleaning and you’re going to do this yourself.

If he loves you like he says he does, he’ll respect this quirk of yours. You could even tell him you’re a Penelope and that you can’t help it – it’s your nature. Hey, refer him to our website, so he can see what he’s dealing with!

The point is, this is your kitchen and your domain. You make the rules. But, communicated lovingly, I think this can be handled with minimal emotional distress.

Don’t worry, Karen. You’ve got thousands of Penelopes standing in support.

Penelopes: weigh in with your thoughts in the comments. Karen and I really want to know what you think!

The 7 Link Challenge

Meredith — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 16:00:05 +0000

I’m continually inspired by both Darren Rowse of ProBlogger and Susannah Conway of Unravelling fame. Today, I’m literally inspired by them as I’ve decided to take up the 7 Link Challenge laid down by Darren and then further interpreted by Susannah.

The idea is to dig into your blog’s content a bit and expose some of your newer readers to posts they may have missed earlier on. I haven’t been blogging for very long compared to these two giants (and many, many of you) but I am grateful to have a lot of new readers, so I thought this might be useful.

Also, reviewing my content in the way gives me a more overall perspective of it. Some of what I’ve written I like, some I’d do a bit differently if I did it again. I found it useful to think through my posts like this.

Here I go:

Your first post: Who is Penelope and Why Does She Love Lists? 11/13/2009. – Everything about Penelope began from this place. Between this and the more fleshed out version in my About page, it sums up everything this site is meant to be. I wrote this in 5 minutes, it absolutely flowed out of me, which made (and makes) me feel like I was on the right track.
A post you enjoyed writing the most: A Wicked Confession or: A Reminder I’m Far From Perfect – This was the first post I wrote that got more “personal”. It’s “blogging as therapy”, really. It started my love of writing the “Random Ruminations” posts. These are the posts that, for me, get to the real crux of what being a Penelope is.
A post which had a great discussion: Why It Sometimes Sucks to be a Penelope – A perfect example of the above. The comments here are so honest.
Your most helpful post: The Biggest Time Suck of My Day or: Why Email Haunts Me – I love the tips here and was incredibly jazzed that so many people found them useful, too.
A post with a title that you are proud of: The Genius of Aqua Notes or: Why I Think Best When I’m Wet – Enough said.
A post that you wish more people had read: When Eight is not Enough – This post was really early on, so my traffic was super low. I do love Julie Morgenstern and her book I mention here. In fact, we’ll be hearing from Julie on Penelope Loves Lists very soon. Stay tuned!
A post on someone else’s blog that you wish you’d written: The Manifesto of Encouragement by Danielle LaPorte of White Hot Truth – To say I have a girl crush on Danielle is a vast understatement. She absolutely inspires me to be my best self. Love her and love love love this post. Gives me chills every single time.

Penelope Poll: What would you do?

Meredith — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:05:11 +0000

I got an email from a fellow Penelope, Stacy, that both tickled and fascinated me. We both wanted to know what the rest of the Penelope world would do in the same situation.

Here’s Stacy’s story:

A couple of weeks ago, I went to stay with my brother (with whom I’m very close) for a few days at his new apartment. The first morning after my arrival, I woke up before he did and went into the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

As I looked around for the first time, I immediately noticed how many food items he had on top of his refrigerator and on his counters. There was stuff all over the place.

But, I got really confused when I opened up one of his cabinets and found it was empty. Completely empty! A quick search told me that 90% of his cabinets were empty.

Why would he have food and pantry items all over the kitchen except the cabinets? It made no sense!

So, we’re curious, Penelopes: what would YOU do in this situation?

a) Immediately launch into a complete kitchen re-organization. You simply can’t help yourself.
b) Wait until your brother comes downstairs and calmly discuss some other options with him that include proper use of cabinet space.
c) Walk away and don’t say a word. It’s his house, not yours.
d) Take some course of action.

There is absolutely no right or wrong answer. In fact, for now, I’m not even going to tell you what I’d do. I will, however, leave a comment in a few days with my answer.

Until then, I want to know what YOU’D do. Come on, be honest!

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RESULTS: Great feedback, Penelopes. This was a fascinating exercise.

Here’s were we stand now that we’ve gotten 51 people to weigh in: over half of us said we’d go with Option B. We’d just have to talk to our brothers and see what was going on, we couldn’t just let it go. The second largest category went with Option A: they’d just jump in and change things. And very, very few said they’d not say anything at all or take another path entirely.

Again, there’s no right or wrong here. I think at the base of everyone’s answer is a place of really good intentions and I love that.

I’m going to do a poll like this every once in a while because I find this kind of thing so fascinating. I hope you’ll all continue to jump in with your honest reactions.