Dear Friends Who Are Coming Over This Week,
First let me say how glad I am that you’re coming to my house this week for our work meetings/retreat/girlie bonding time.
You are my very favorite group of people in the world, which is a little self-congratulatory, given that I hired 99% of you. But it’s still true. You’re funny, you’re smart, you always, always have my back and the work we do together is amazing.
But you’re also all Penelopes. And you’re coming to my house. Where I live with 3 children and a dog and a husband. And you’ll be there all day long for 2 days straight, in and out of every room, eating and preparing food in my kitchen, using my bathrooms.
So I’m sort of freaking out.
Not because of anything you’ll do. A neater, tidier group of women no one could find.
This is my issue.
I’ve decided to put a list together of the things I’m freaking out about, just to get it all out of my head.
1) Please ignore the huge swath of brown grass in my front yard. I ask you to ignore it, but I can’t. That blight on my lawn haunts my dreams. Sure, I can call it California Drought Chic, but it still represents a failure to have a perfect lawn. Which I feel is my personal responsibility.
2) Please tell me if any portion of my house looks, smells or even seems like we own a dog. I’ve obsessively washed every surface, but I fear you’ll still detect the innate dogginess of our abode.
3) My cups, plates and coffee mugs do not all match. I just can’t seem to pull a full set together. That seems like something I should do. There may also be some coffee mugs with chips in them, or that advertise the company for which my husband works. Super Pinteresty, huh?
4) I also don’t have enough matching wine glasses. And I’m 41 years old. Shouldn’t I have my Wine Glass act together at this point?
5) Speaking of kitchen stuff, my cabinets are not as organized as I’d like. My 3-year-old still gets in them and messes around and organizing them seems pointless. But, again, Pinterest thinks differently. There should be cute shelf liners and labelled storage solutions. I founded the website for the unapologetically organized, for Christ’s sake. THIS is the state of my cabinets?
6) There’s a large wooden box in my backyard that would look SO awesome if it was a beautiful and bountiful and gorgeously, artfully-labelled vegetable garden. But it’s not. It’s a huge box of dirt. I just don’t have the time for the gardening in this season of my life and my son loves it for Monster Truck Rallies, but, still. I feel like more is expected of me.
7) There’s a stain on the cushion of the couch in my living room. I’ve tried and tried, but I can’t get it out. And I need to order a new cushion, but it never crosses my mind. Until I think of one of you looking at that stain and thinking “Geez, Meredith. Lazy much?”
And that’s the thing. Just writing that last line makes me realize that none of you would ever, ever judge me or my home for any of those things. It’s not who you are. Sure, you like things neat and tidy. But you don’t expect me to be perfect.
That’s just me.
Please forgive me for being so “inside my head” and not keeping my eye on what matters. I’m shutting up now.
Let’s just have fun and do good work, ok?