I’m super jazzed to once again welcome Guest Poster and SAHM Penelope Melinda to the blog. Last time, she gave us some tips to help preserve our sanity during the kids’ summer vacation. This time, she’s helping us refine our kids’s daily tasks as we get into the school year.
The Back-To-School extravaganza is upon us and we are ready. School supplies purchased, check. New clothes washed and folded, check. Backpacks filled, check.
Lunches made…wait, not sure. Alarm clock set, oops, I forgot.
This is how it usually goes in the home of this Penelope. All of the big, exciting preparations are made but it’s those little yet crucial tasks that are quickly put on the back burner by our darling scholars.
Let’s face it: we can be as organized as possible and yet we still find ourselves bellowing up the stairs, “Don’t forget to brush your teeth!!”
It was actually my husband who provided me with this “aha” moment. One morning, he had the privilege of listening to my litany of reminder to my kids. And then he said, “They would forget it all if it weren’t for you.” And he was right…but it left me discouraged. My job as a parent it is to equip them to live without me! I needed a new plan, one that would encourage independence and self-sufficiency.
Enter The Sticks.
The System:
I grabbed a pile of popscicle sticks. On each stick, I wrote a morning job that needed to be completed (make bed, brush teeth, grab your lunch, take your vitamin). Same thing for the evening tasks. On the back of each was a consequence, some natural (be hungry because you forgot your lunch) others punitive (lose 30 minutes of computer time). If the child doesn’t complete that task, she knows exactly what the consequence will be. It’s consistent and there are never any surprises.
Then I made a set of “point sticks”. One stick = one point. If they successfully complete all of their tasks from the morning, they get one point, same thing for their evening tasks. For the school week, there are 10 possible points to be earned.
Next, I created a “sticks” pouch for the bedroom. Using old placemats and a sewing machine (or hot glue if you prefer), I fashioned these little creations, one for each of my school age children.
Idea: This entire system could also be done in a “no sew” way by using 2 sets of 3 labeled glass jars, and moving the sticks from the left jar to the middle and point sticks going in jar on the far right. Your kids could get into the game by labeling and decorating the jars themselves. Or not. Up to you. I know how we Penelopes love to label.
The top section is for the Morning Tasks, the bottom for the Nighttime Tasks (responsibilities such as taking out the trash or packing up homework).
The sticks all start the day on the left. (My kids actually have a stick to remind them to move their sticks over…ha!) When they complete a task, they move its stick to the middle. If they earn a point, the number stick goes in the last little pocket.
One of the things that I love about the sticks is that I can add or subtract jobs as needed. If they have short days and don’t need a lunch, I remove the stick. If they have laundry to put away, I add the laundry stick. “Point” sticks and “odd-job” sticks are kept in a mug on the dresser.
The Reward for the Kids:
My kids earn a point for each morning and evening set that they complete fully each day. If, at the end of the week, they have earned 8 of the 10 possible points, they are rewarded with a slightly later bedtime the following week. If they earn all 10 points, they get a later bedtime AND a movie night on Friday (big news in our house as we aren’t big TV people). Obviously, you know which rewards will give your kids the best buy-in…use it to your advantage.
Note that you can transition your kids as they get older from the “Sticks” Method into a “To Do List” method using a lot of these same concepts. You can create a daily list using the customizable FeelGood Lists we learned about a while ago. This would give your older kids a strong foundation for using list-making to keep themselves focused and on task.
The Payoff for Me:
This system may sound a bit complicated, but it has saved me a litany of reminders and has taught my children to be more self-sufficient. And, the fact the I’m not constantly nagging at them has made for a more peaceful household.
For this Penelope Mom of four in the throes of a new school year, a little peace and quiet is my new best friend.
- Why do I own 1,000 pencils? A solution for vanishing school supplies My kids, aged 10 and 14, are great students,...
- How Penelope keeps herself sane when the kids are out of school Today’s post is brought to us by one my favorite...
- More summer sanity solutions: three ways to get kids reading over summer vacation I got some really smart feedback from reader Jennifer about...
{ 1 trackback }
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Smart! I’ve heard of some people doing a similar rewards system with dollars (a dollar earned for every day of good behavior), but it gets dicey when the child brushes his teeth like a trooper one day, but forgot his lunch the same day…
If only this system worked for husbands!
Seems like an opportunity for a craft activity, too! Something that could take up a good chunk of time…when you need an activity that takes up a good chunk of time. Plus, if you get the kids involved in making something like this, they might be more into it.
@Lisa: I agree! I was married to a guy who could have benefited from this. Ha!
@Anna: yes, when my kids were smaller, they would have loved getting into this action.
I used this system for my kids this summer. I colored one end and put all of them in a jar. They just turned it over when they finished their “responsibility.”
I just discovered your site today…I must say, I’m in love with it! Thank you! I look forward to future posts!
I might just use this idea for myself. I’ve got a bunch of repetitive tasks (like checking in with clients) that I tire of adding to my to-do list each day. Picking tasks at random would also keep it interesting and possibly beat my procrastination habit. Thanks for a great tip!
As a mom of 4 daughters all school age (ages 5-10), I love this idea. I have tried a system with their own dry erase boards in the office. They mark off daily chores, and also have a section for consequences. So many chores checked gets a reward at the end of the wk. BUT, we kinda fell out of our routine of doing this. Now with school starting, I am that mom yelling up the stairs with constant reminders before heading out the door for school. It gets old….and I hate hearing myself. Also, like you said, I want them to be more responsible!!! so THANK YOU for this idea. I may put it to use and see how it goes
I was just complaining to a friend about my son and the fact that it takes him F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to get ready for school in the morning. She suggested this project to me. I’m going out and getting the supplies tonight!
I’m a Professional Organizer who works with families with small children. I can’t wait to share your idea with some of my clients! Great thinking!