I have always identified as a “control freak”. I’ve reveled in the label, actually, especially when it comes to my career. I’m good at what I do. I know what result I want and exactly how I want it achieved. I’m a demanding perfectionist, and things have to be just so. I’ve done well by making the most of these traits.
I also have terrible trouble delegating, even to people I trust immensely. I struggle to “let go”.
All because I’m such a tireless, passionate, devoted control freak. I’m following in the footsteps of other famous control freaks: Madonna, Peyton Manning, Martha Stewart, Leona Helmsley. (OK, maybe not so much that last one.)
Could it be that I’m afraid to let go of things? Not because they can’t be done as well by someone else. But because I’m afraid they CAN be done just as well. Or better?
And that might mean I’m not useful, or uniquely talented or…worst…it might mean I’m not irreplaceable.
And that might mean people won’t like me or be impressed by me or love me.
And that scares me more than I care to admit. Even to myself.
Maybe being a control freak isn’t so impressive. Maybe it’s just fear masquerading as confidence and capability.