I spend a lot of time complaining.
Not out loud, mind you, but in my head. I’m forever whining to my own self about having too much to do, wishing I could get more done, wishing things could be more perfect, wanting things to be different. I live in a constant cycle of these kinds of thoughts.
And, then, every once in a while, something happens to remind me to shut the hell up.
Today, I found out that a friend’s 3-year-old son died of leukemia after a 2 and a half year battle with that menacing disease. During those 2 and a half years, both parents had to quit working and survive largely on savings and the kindness of friends, family and strangers. Because they, for their part, were in the hospital almost every day.
They watched their son go through surgeries and multiple rounds of chemo and a bone marrow transplant and all manner of horrible, intrusive, painful procedures. They watched him swell up to twice his size and not be able to walk and be sick with all the drugs he had to take to have a fighting chance. And they did it all with smiles on their faces because they just wanted their baby boy to live.
And, today, he died.
Just like that, all their fighting, done. All their hoping, over. All their joy, gone.
And I’m over here, mentally whining because I’ve got a lot to do.
Shut the hell up, Meredith. Go hug your kids and husband and shut the hell up. For just one moment, quit making everything about you and realize how god damn blessed you are.
So, no pretty photos here. No office supplies and To Do List strategies. Nope.
Today, you just get me telling you to shut up and be grateful.
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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh Meredith!! We all are sooo guilty of this! Over the past week, I have been trying to get my kids to see how blessed they are and not to “want stuff” and to stop whining about nothing. But, I am just as bad. We are all so blessed. Sometimes we just need a wake up call to remember.
Don’t knock yourself too hard for your “whining.” Sounds like it’s more you trying to improve upon yourself. That is a good thing.
=]
(I want to say more, but this topic of cancer + death makes me sad and teary. One of my friends’ dad passed away too, after a really long struggle with brain cancer. It’s difficult.)
I teared up reading this – maybe because I’ve worked with these families, maybe because it is so sad to hear someone else suffer – but probably because I relate to your survivor guilt, or better yet normalcy guilt. It is hard enough feeling guilty all the time for not completing our to-do lists, but to add to that more guilt for having a to-do list full of flossing and making my bed – sometimes it is just too much guilt.
I’m very sad for your friends’ loss, and very hopeful for their new beginning. Living life on hold, for so long, is exhausting and it is no way to live.
But I’m also sad for your guilt. Guilt that I totally relate to. Guilt that I hope we both learn to let go of. It is good to be reminded to appreciate the important and worry less about the minutia. But it is also okay to not have drama, or trauma, and it is okay to tend to the small things. We can’t keep beating ourselves up for not being perfect AND for wanting to be perfect. I’ll be keeping you and your friends in my thoughts. Big hug!
I have been going through a bit of a career crisis for the last couple of years. I’m finding teaching too stressful and that I am not a strong enough person to keep battling on. It all came to a head yesterday after I got some negative feedback about a lesson and I fell apart. I have been lying in my bed since 3pm yesterday feeling REALLY bloody sorry for myself and questioning my place in life! This was the kick in the *** that I really needed. I feel so sorry for that couple and for the little boy who never had his chance. I have my chance and my health and can go on to do new things. Thank you for posting this and have a ‘virtual hug’ from me. xxx
meredith… that’s a terrible story and we all should be grateful for being healthy, happy and for not having such a tragedy in our life. i will include that family in my prayers and sending you a tight hug. lou
That is sad but the world turns. They did what they can do but nature says we have to let go. There will be time for grieving but there must be a closure and then we all must move on.
Thankful for the reminder!
I’m so glad you guys get where I’m coming from. I’ve decided to tackle today with a whole different focus than I had yesterday.
Thank you for the Thursday encouragement to live and love and quit whining about things that are so beyond what is truly real and important. Best post yet!
Nearly brought tears to my eyes!
Thank you for this. Sometimes, we all need to hear it..
Excellent post! Thank you for being so honest. Don’t we all need a little reality check once in while? I don’t know why it’s easier to dwell on the negative rather than the positive, I guess we just have to all work harder at that, no?
Ugh. I just turn into a big old mess when I hear about children passing away. It just seems so unfair! Thank you for the reminder to hug my loved ones a little harder today. Life is fleeting. And what a crappy reminder. But, in my opinion, a life well-lived is a life that is appreciated in the moment — and children are so amazing with this concept.
When a classmate’s younger sister died a couple of months ago, my 6-year-old nephew didn’t ask any questions or say anything out loud about the little girl or his classmate. The one thing his parents noticed was he was spending a lot more time hugging Mom, Dad, and especially his baby brother, and quickly doing whatever he was told. During prayers, he added his classmate to his nightly list and that was that. His parents tried to talk to him about it, but he said it’s not worth talking about, he just wants to do more to show how much he loves his family. It’s just such a pure, uncomplicated reaction, and a fantastic example of one of those times when a child can easily teach us something invaluable. Show more with what you do than what you say. He knows his parents are there to talk to him about it when he’s ready, but in the meantime, they’re just enjoying being a family.
Wow. You brought tears to my eyes…that’s such a sad story, but thank you for sharing and making us stop and just be thankful. Big hug and Kiss Penelope xoxoxo
Oh my, I called you Penelope! lol…sorry Meredith
xo
Hi Meredith!
I love your blog idea. I can relate pretty much 100% to your “Penelope” definition. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the day to day (seemingly) overwhelming need to be perfectly organized at all times. As you suggest in this post, people and experiences are what matter most in life and it’s good to have those “grounding” experiences from time to time, even if they are sad.
Again, nice work on the blog. My blog, Minima[list] is of a similar spirit. Hope you will check it out sometime!
Omigosh. this has me in tears. Thank u for sharing this and I am so sorry for ur friends. Hopefully their little angel is resting in peace. I can’t even fathom the thought. My god. It’s sad that it takes something like this to happen for us to stop in our tracks. Why can;t we wake up with the idea that this day could be our last and live it to its fullest. My mom died a few years ago and for a while afterwards I was very much about living in the moment and being grateful but it’s just taken a few years to get back into a slump of a mindset where u just dwell on stupid meaningless things in the larger scheme. If there is any way we can help or show support for ur friends, pls let us know. xo
thank you for sharing your real struggles and keeping it in perspective and helping me to be reminded of the important things when I, too, want to whine (and do).
I was here just to have a look around and leave you a “hello” and I found this… So simple, so powerful. So sad.
I feel almost guilty to say “thank you” for sharing this… Makes me feel so blessed and grateful for my (im)perfect life…
Ciao,
Suze